Lost in Agony

When I came back from Dell, I was completely broken and desparate. I wasted 4 day of my trip during which I got stuck in Toronto in the vain hope that somehow I can fix the laptop. I squandered a half of my badget and I was not even in the third of my journey.I hoped so fervently that I can have it repaired, I put so much reliance on Dell, waited so doggedly and patiently – and without any effect at all. I was too tired, suffering from insufficient sleep and from the bleak ongoing.
I should not have been so stubborn. Why did not I leave Toronto in the morning, despite my computer was not repaired? That evening I felt broken, without hope and joy, in other words - completely down. It was just too much on me that night. Furthermore, deprived of sleep, sick and tired, I could not think optimistic anymore. My wisdom teeth was cutting its way to the world. I could not brush my teeth anymore, cause my mouth was full of blood and the pain was unnerving. In the evening my sore throat became even worse. I knew that I need a rest, but it was impossible on an uncomfortable chair in the waiting room. So I decided to "camp" in the buggage hall, where I found a nice bench and three transferable walls. I pulled out my blanket, and made myself to sleep. I laid down, closed my eyes and - could not fall asleep. Out of the blue I got an excruciating pain in my shoulders. I had been carying my 15kg backpack everywhere with me for almost 4 days in a row and as a result I probably got a muscle fever. I cannot describe that pain either in Slovak or in English. I had to keep on scratching my shoulders, I could not stand without a movement for more than 5 seconds. After 20 seconds of lying and squirming with pain on the bench, I had to stand up and start walking. However, I was too feeble to walk and I staggered as a drunken sailor. After walking for a minute I had to sit down, but not even in chair I could stop fidgeting. People looked at me both with amusement and fear, I must have looked like a psycho or a drug addicted in withdrawal
I felt hopeless, so I went to ask the VIA staff if they do not have any painkillers. Unfortunately, they did not have anything and I had to fall back on some drugs I had in my backpack. WIthout knowing what the hell those pill were for, I took what I found and gulped it down with the vain hope that it would help. I did not know what to do. I could not imagine spending the whole night at the station anymore, so I tried to find help wherever I could. Somehow I remembered of the card that Denny gave me. He wrote me some cellphone numbers of his family and friends in case of emergency, but all of them were too far away from Toronto. He said that a friend of him living in Toronto should be back by this time so I wrote him several sms in order to find out if I could stay overnight at his place. I got a swift answer from Danny which cheered my up. Unfortunately, his friend did not answer the phone and all I could do was just leave a voice message. I mumbled several pleading sentences, I had never heard myself talking ins such a desparate tone.
It was almost 10pm and the chance that he would show up was very small. I bumbed into a guy who introduced himself as a Saskatoon farmer trying to go home. As he said, he did not have enough money to buy a ticket. Beseechingly, he tried to ask people for few bucks for his ticket. He did not look like a beggar, no shabby appearance, no bad language, on the contrary, he made an impression of an honest guy. He needed 15 bucks for his ticket and he promised to send the money back to my address. Looking inside my wallet I realized that I have only 100 bucks left. Neverheless, I decided to help him and I pulled out 20 bucks. I could have used it for a night in hostel. That is my typical behaviour - saving on myself but being generous to others. I have met so many good people who helped me a lot - I just wanted to help someone else in return. He said that as soon as he buy the ticket he would come back to show it to me. In the end, I spend at the station another 2 hours and of course that he had not shown up. I got hoodwinked by a very sofisticated liar. I gave my half-day wage back in Slovakia to a complete stranger, just like that. Although now I know that due to all of that pain I could not think racionally, I cannot believe how naive I was.
Those drugs I took did not help me at all, Exhausted both of pain and unsufficient sleep, I could neither sleep, nor walk. I dimly remember faltering and falling asleep in the middle of walking. I do not know where, when and how I ended up. I must to have passed out. I was woken up by the night guard who asked me to leave the station. Fortunately, the pain was over and finally I felt like OK: Carefully, I heaved my heavy backpack and went to my old haunt - Tim Horton‘s. That night I came there to drink hot cofffee not as an indulgence but as a cure – with hope to chase away my sore throat. That was the time I firstly appreciate a hot cap of coffee as a remedy. Thanks for that card, Danny, it helped me a lot :)
Purchasing a large cup of coffee, I took my way to my favourite table. The old professor was there too, as usually, doing Sudoku and reading newspaper. I greeted him, explained what a nice day I had had so far and we ended up in a conversation till the dusk
I have found out many things about him. His name is Richard and firstly, he was not a professor who was comtemptuous of sleep, rather spending a night in coffeteria than in his bed. He used very advanced English which cannot be seen very often – some of those phrases can be found just in textbooks, normal people do not use them.- I should have written them down, I would find them handy in the future. I had no doubt about his high education, although at first I could not believe him when he started talking about his experience and career. Experienced as a lawyer, working in a key role for financial businesss, interested in art and design, creating advertisements and much, much more – it sounded rather unreal. The most suprising fact for me was that he is a homeless. It is a long story, so in short he lost everything in a trail and he had no place to go, so he ended up on street. The court is still not over and he is trying to do his best to win. However unbelievable the story sounded to me, I must admit that I have not met such a guy here in Canada with whom I coulde have so intelligent talks. He knew quite a lot about Slovakia, Europe, I was stunned by his overview and general knowledge. Of course at first I wanted to check out how much true is on what he was saying. So I used my general overview to ask questions in different fields, on which I knew the answer in advance. For instance, I looked at newspaper with a headline about investing and a picture of gold breaks in the background. A sneaky question came up to my mind. What is the best commodity for investing? I expected a straightforward answer with supporting arguments or statements. In fact, I knew that there is no straightforward answer. He looked down, smiled serenely and started a wise answer Many of things he said I was taught at college and it was not difficult to confirm that he was telling the truth. His arguments were not hastily read from newspaper or some loosy books, he dammed knew what he was talking about. I got overhelmed by all of those details and years, but I enjoyed that lecture a lot :) Starting with monetary system and stockmarket, continuing with investing and finished by the topic of power and the real value of money, he covered much more than my question was about. With his knowledge and experience, he could easily find a job anywhere. Unfortunately, due to an illness, it is a problem for him to stay focused on something for a longer time.I became interested what had happened to him and why he ended up like that. I mentioned that I am a homeless too. As a student, interested in sociology and seeing that he is willing to answer my questions, I started enquiring as much as possible about the streetlife. He offered me to make an „underground“ tour around Toronto, to see how some things are going on, to find several people I could intervew about the social issues and even to try to fix my laptop. I enthusiasticly agreed and was looking forward to the next morning.